


Stage Four: Fear of Trying

by orphan_account



Series: Seth Projects tm [4]
Category: Asagao Academy: Normal Boots Club
Genre: here we go again, idk what to tag, more pressions shit, oh boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:27:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22637563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Series: Seth Projects tm [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1565236
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Stage Four: Fear of Trying

Sometimes his thoughts were loud. Deafening and suffocating yet quiet and free-flowing. They strangled Ian, making him choke on his own breath, threatening the promise of tears.

He never cried anyway, his lungs hurt and his heart ached, and by god, his thoughts hurt. They were loud and they made everything surrounding him way too much. A rollercoaster of noise that wasn't even there. 

In a silent dorm room, everything was cranked to full volume, the white noise that hung in the air, a small whine in his ears, now ringing loudly, taking up every inch of his mind, filling it with a million different emotions ranging from anger to regret. He couldn't make it quieter, he couldn't make it any less tormenting. 

Today was loud. It was one small problem, and then another, mild inconveniences over the week that just tipped him over the edge. The music playing had become too loud and he'd ditched his earphones somewhere on the floor a while ago. Now he lay on his bunk, the only light piercingly staring at him from the corner of the room, a lamp on his desk. He'd turn it off if he had the energy. 

Ian felt weak, drained of energy and useless, the noise of static invading and taking what it wanted. His legs didn't move, no matter how much he wanted them to, and he wanted to throw up. The looming feeling of utter uselessness hanging over his body, like he was a corpse stuck in a body bag. Trapping him with no way of escape.

He closed his eyes, arms coming up to cover his face. His arms, they were heavy, feeling like they weighed three tonnes each. He knew that moving them would be another challenge in itself. Ian wanted to cry, yet the tears were never there, he wanted to puke but it never came. He just lay there, tired and overwhelmed from nothing at all. 

Part of him wanted Jeff to come back, knowing that the fourth-year's return would start to get him back on his feet, yet, having Jeff see him in this state again would set him back 4 more steps. He hated people seeing him at his weak points, as if that didn't happen enough anyway. 

Ian supposed he'd just suffer for however longer his body would keep it up.


End file.
